Tuesday, September 23, 2008

honesty. and heartbreak.

i promised myself that when i started a blog i would be real. it is *so* easy to candy-coat things on here and i'm not about that. never have been.

so here is a glimpse into the real world of heather altork.

i have been running this journey with so much passion it consumes me.

and then there are times that i let my guard down and the reality sets in and my heart breaks into a million pieces.
i had a quick 'reality moment' tonite that has me in tears and i feel so weak.

what do i do when kids make fun of my sweet boy?

how do i make them see that he has all of his feelings, he just can't express them?

what about when he's a teenager and other kids do things that he can't? like sports and prom?

and sleepovers. dear Lord, if he's ever invited how am i sure that they won't just use him as a form of entertainment?

my heart breaks tonite.

this road is hard.

i am *so* willing and ready to travel it, but GOD!!! it is hard.

a mother's love is something that i will probably never understand completely. it fuels me. it pushes me beyond limits i never knew existed.

please teach your kids about autism. help them understand. help me surround my precious boy with friends that will fight for him. he needs it.

thanks for letting me cry. i know you all care it's just the cruel world that i'm worried about.


Scott and Sara said...

Oh, this breaks my heart. I'm so sorry. Praying for lots of comfort for you and Liam and wisdom for each day and each experience he goes through.

Jen said...

Heather, I love your blog! Thank you for your honesty.

granolachic said...

ok...now i really love your blog. i, too, swore to keep it real...i write alot about the dark days...i am terrified that my innocent child will be bullied.

it's very hard for me to trust God to take care of my son...i struggle with wanting to push Him aside and do it myself...but He does care and He promises to protect...esp the weak...i rest my fears on that...

ok...usually...other times i just stomp my foot at God in anger and frustration...you know...mommy-meltdown!