my playlist

i can't figure out how to post it. wah!

help???

everytime i try to post it, it goes to a generic one...

ETA: and i just erased my whole post from last night.

man, i am so technically challenged....

i'm surprised i've made it this far. lol.

ETA AGAIN: it is super hard to blog with a squirmy baby in your lap grabbing at the keyboard.

ETA AGAIN (wonder how many times i'll do this today): the wonderpets are kindof entertaining.

ETA AGAIN: so, the original post was about music. and how i had forgotten how much i love it. i listen to "blue's clues" and "the backyardigans" so much that i hardly ever have time to listen to the good stuff.

i have a really broad spectrum of music that i love (timmy makes fun of a few of the songs that i like...lol) because i feel like music is a reminder of where i've been, where i am right now and what i'm headed towards.

i like a song that makes me bust a good one. or cry really hard. or raise my hands towards Jesus. or fall on my face.

i like songs about love because i'm there. i like songs about heartbreak because i've been there.

i like songs that remind me of my friends. times spent together. travel.

my playlist isn't filled with only uplifting songs. nope. because that's not real life. i like to feel everything, so it's filled with my faves.

one of my co-workers said last night, "a life without music is meaningless" or something like that. i don't know that i would say "meaningless" but i sure have missed it for the past few years.

ahhh. glad to be back. can't wait to see what i've missed.

food food!

eeeps! it's menu time again...my favorite day.

our csa box was filled with plenty of fall goodies this week...here is what i plan on doing:

tim smoked a HUGE brisket earlier this week (it was an add-in meal from last weeks menu) and it is amazingly yummy. we have a ton of leftovers, so today i have some in the crock pot on low with some beef broth. in a few hours i'll add some carrots, parsnips and celery and let it get just perfect. i'll serve it with some braised greens and some warm bread. slurp.

timmy has a hankerin' to use the rest of the brisket and make a big batch of cowboy chili on the grill (in a cast iron pot) so he will be doing that and i'll make a batch of jalepeno colby cornbread. (farmer chad, we love that cheese!) we'll have a tiny salad along with it...you know, just because. we'll freeze a few small batches for lunches and nights when i'm working.

i now have 2 big butternut squash, so i'm going to make butternut curry soup that jen posted a few days ago. it sounds amazing! plus a nice big salad with seasonal greens, purple peppers, carrots, celery and some homemade cheddar garlic croutons. drool.

we also got a beauty of a napa cabbage in the box. it is so pretty!
i'm planning on making Chinese Cabbage Rolls with a few variations on the stuffing using whatever veggies i have leftover in the fridge. i might use ground sausage instead of ground turkey. can't decide.
so we'll serve those babies with some brown rice, the last of the pickled veggies and of course, hot tea. chopsticks anyone?

the sweet potatoes with become babyfood this week and also snuck into some GFCF pancakes for my monkey boy.

and that wraps it up, folks.

i'd better get back to the kitchen!

regression? or not?

i had a good face-to-face talk with my friend jennifer and also my friend kara today. also some folks at work and especially the hubby.

i was thinking that liam was regressing.

my mind was starting to get stressed about it (what is he eating that isn't right for him...etc) but i saw a new light today, if you will.

hear me out.

liam is actually PROgressing.

he is being a typical 3.5 year old in his actions and his will.

the past few days the kid has been sticking up for himself. passionately.

well, my mind immediately thinks it's the "autism" rearing its head. i label him. i think that he isn't capable of expressing what he really feels.

maybe, but just *maybe* he is getting it.

but this kid is fighting hard. fighting the battle of not enough words and too many emotions.

can i get an amen?

i feel that daily.

this kid is sensitive. so am i.

this kid rages against injustice. so do i.

this kid loves every person that comes in his path...as long as you don't push him for words. i am the same.

regression?

nope.

i don't think so.

i think we have a fireball on our hands.

this kid has it going on.

now to know how to fan the flame? that's the hard part.

oh goodness.

my heart is rejoicing tonite.

he's GETTING IT!!!

good days and bad days

we have had a few of those "bad days" lately.

if any mama of an autistic child hears me right now, please say "amen"

i need it.

ups and downs...highs and lows.

i KNOW that is the deal. i KNOW IT.

but my friends, it is hard when you really *really* want to sleep and your precious first child wakes you with a desperate need for something....*something* that is not expressed with words.

i truly envy the mamas that have a child that wakes them with "i'm scared" or "my PJs don't fit right" or "i had a bad dream"...

because tonite our liam has us up and we cannot figure out why.

he doesn't have the words.
he wants to have them and feels almost ashamed that he cannot express what he feels.

i ran to his side tonite and all i got in return was a plea for "juice". maybe he was thirsty? was he really? or did he say that because that is all he knows how to say???

kids his age would just say why, but we're asking all the wrong questions and getting nothing in return.

nights like this leave me feeling helpless.

and then i wake up and remember that life is worth living.
and that my liam will one day...ONE DAY...have a voice.

oh mamas.
please keep my heart in your prayers because it is breaking tonite.

Father God, please heal my boy.

food this week

i love thursdays because i get to pick up my csa box, milk, cheese, eggs, meat and then take it all home and stare at it all afternoon trying to decide what i'm going to make.

i *really* enjoy cooking.
i guess it's just an expression of my creativity and also the chance to take care of others in the process.
and especially this whole "seasonal cooking" thing that i've been doing.
it's like a fun puzzle that i get to put together since we never know in advance what we're getting in our box...or what kinds of meat farmer chad has that day.

anyway, i planned my meals today and here's what we're eating...

THURS:
broiled asian tilapia, fried rice made with csa veggies and farm eggs, roasted carrots

FRI:
grilled cheese and TJ's roasted red pepper and tomato soup (tim works)

SAT:
country fried steak with milk gravy, garlic mashed potatoes, braised greens

SUN:
grilled sirloin steak, roasted parsnips, salad

MON:
black bean and sweet potato enchiladas, salad

TUES:
leftovers (i work)

WED:
leftovers (i work)

yummy. i'm getting hungry just thinking about it.

i also have a butternut squash that i'll turn into babyfood or just puree it and freeze in cubes to sneak into mac and cheese. ;)

i know i work for the company...

...but seriously folks.

starbucks peppermint mocha twist really makes me giddy.

it is so good.

i LOVE the holidays!!

pickles, babyfood and my favorite "nightcap"

is anyone else enjoying the fall as much as i am?

i've always been a warm weather person, but something changed inside of me this year and i am embracing the changing seasons.

maybe it's because i love God, my house, husband, kids, job and the fire that burns in my fireplace every morning and every night.

anyway, i've been doing some fun stuff in the kitchen lately.

getting this CSA box each week really challenges me to make the most of everything i get and not let anything go to waste.

we got a bunch of radish (radishes?) in our box last week and i'm not too fond of raw radish. or so i thought. it seems that farm fresh radish is much sweeter than the store bought kind. so, maybe i will love them from here on out.

i also had some leftover cucumber and purple bell pepper, so i sliced everything up really thin and made up a mixture of rice vinegar, white vinegar, water, sugar, salt, pepper, minced garlic and some dill.
i heated the liquid up just a bit to dissolve everything and then added my veggies.
pop it all into a sealed container and put in the fridge.
it has been in there for a day now and mmmmmm. yummy!!

the other thing i did this week was continue to make homemade baby food.
(soooooo easy i'm sure many of you already do this)

last week i roasted a free range chicken from farmer chad and timmy picked all the meat off of it while i was at work. (it still had the neck on!!)
we used the meat for a few things and then i used the rest for my babyfood concoction.

i diced up a few apples from the CSA box, added some shredded kale from the box and then the shredded chicken. i poured some apple juice (diluted) over the whole thing and poured it in my crockpot on low.
then i wrapped up the sweet potatoes that we got in our box in tin foil and put it in the same crockpot to get soft.
when the potatoes were done, tim scraped the insides into the pot and when it was all good and soft, i buzzed it up in the food processor.

to store it, i poured the mixture into ice cube trays to freeze in individual portions.
i'll pop them out into a ziploc freezer bag and keep them in the freezer for easy heat-up. cora LOVES it!!

now, onto my new drink concoction.

winter always makes me want a nightcap before bed.
something to warm my tummy and make me nod right off.

here is my newest favorite.

a shot of good brandy
a few pumps of starbucks cinnamon dolce syrup
fresh milk (about 3-4oz) (we get ours right from farmer chad's cow...cream and all!)

serve warm or over ice. top with allspice.

deeeee-lish.

anybody else cookin' anything good????