this grabbed me (autism)

i have been reading MOTHER WARRIORS lately and this bit hit home for me...

"I have had a chance to be reaquainted with God. Not the God you meet in your Sunday best at church, but the God you meet on your kitchen floor at three in the morning.

There is no Ronald McDonald House for us, no wing at Saint Jude's to offer help, or even hope. The parents of a child with autism are left to go the road alone.

I am my son's full-time researcher, biochemist, pharmacist, educator, doctor, nutritionist, and chef.

I control all aspects of his environment down to the smallest detail."

this was so true for me today.
dealing with medical doctors that want to put a band-aid on everything...and when i question that with the knowledge i've gained...well, they admit to doing what the "book" says.

*sigh*

we're grillin' tonite!

timmy is out getting some charcoal and we're gonna light up the trusty grill to cook our super yummy dinner.

i'm a big fan of the cooking light magazine and this month's issue has some goodies in there.

tonite we're making grilled cilantro-lime chicken with tomato and avocado salsa. i'm also attempting homemade saffron rice...it can't be too hard right?
i picked up some spanish saffron at trader joes this afternoon...i need to google for a recipe.
sweet tea is brewing right now to go along with the meal. yum!

i'm also going to be making chicken and feta tabbouleh this weekend for lunches.

the other recipe that looked amazing is pasta with artichokes and fresh ricotta, so that will make an appearance one night with a mixed greens salad and some garlic rolls.

timmy has been asking me to make up a batch of turkey chili lately...and since it looks like another freeze is headed our way (sigh) i think chili sounds great. especially with my favorite recipe.

and while i'm on the subject of food...i have been craving fish tacos.
anybody have a good recipe???

babies don't keep

not sure if i have posted this before, but i came across it tonite and it blessed me. made a few tears well up, actually.
enjoy!

"Babies Don't Keep"

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rockabye, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
and out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
but I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

-- Author Unknown

new background and new menu!

it was time for a facelift on the blog and after a nice long break, i'm ready to start blogging again.

this entry will be short and sweet because i have a curly-headed two year old helping me. ;)

menu this week:

~oven roasted chicken, potatoes, green beans
~chicken noodle tetrazinni, salad, bread
~beef stew, bread
~good old spaghetti, salad, garlic bread

i'll be making extra stew and spaghetti sauce for the freezer divided into individual portions...you know, to save us from the drive-thrus.

pretty simpe stuff this week. i need simple these days. ;)

fall on your knees

please tell me that i'm not the only one who tears up at the "fall on your knees" part in "oh holy night".

i swear. every. single. time.

"O Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
Till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine, the night when Christ was born;
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
O'er the world a star is sweetly gleaming,
Now come the wisemen from out of the Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus lowly manger;
In all our trials born to be our friends.
He knows our need, our weakness is no stranger,
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!

Truly He taught us to love one another,
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.
And in his name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
With all our hearts we praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we,
His power and glory ever more proclaim!
His power and glory ever more proclaim!"

no time

none at all.
i mean really.
these babies take all of my time (as it should be) and lately i just don't have the time to blog.

bear with me.

there are so many things to share and just not enough time in the day.

but what i DO have time for is snuggling cora before naptime.

hearing liam try to say "my name is liam"

watching garland explode into a world of communication.

seeing liam try to keep up.

hearing cora whine because she's ready to be grown up.

watching my boy figure words and phrases out.

this life is nuts.

and i love every second of it.

sorry for the lack of posts, but my kids are to blame.
and i'm okay with that. ;)

my playlist

i can't figure out how to post it. wah!

help???

everytime i try to post it, it goes to a generic one...

ETA: and i just erased my whole post from last night.

man, i am so technically challenged....

i'm surprised i've made it this far. lol.

ETA AGAIN: it is super hard to blog with a squirmy baby in your lap grabbing at the keyboard.

ETA AGAIN (wonder how many times i'll do this today): the wonderpets are kindof entertaining.

ETA AGAIN: so, the original post was about music. and how i had forgotten how much i love it. i listen to "blue's clues" and "the backyardigans" so much that i hardly ever have time to listen to the good stuff.

i have a really broad spectrum of music that i love (timmy makes fun of a few of the songs that i like...lol) because i feel like music is a reminder of where i've been, where i am right now and what i'm headed towards.

i like a song that makes me bust a good one. or cry really hard. or raise my hands towards Jesus. or fall on my face.

i like songs about love because i'm there. i like songs about heartbreak because i've been there.

i like songs that remind me of my friends. times spent together. travel.

my playlist isn't filled with only uplifting songs. nope. because that's not real life. i like to feel everything, so it's filled with my faves.

one of my co-workers said last night, "a life without music is meaningless" or something like that. i don't know that i would say "meaningless" but i sure have missed it for the past few years.

ahhh. glad to be back. can't wait to see what i've missed.

food food!

eeeps! it's menu time again...my favorite day.

our csa box was filled with plenty of fall goodies this week...here is what i plan on doing:

tim smoked a HUGE brisket earlier this week (it was an add-in meal from last weeks menu) and it is amazingly yummy. we have a ton of leftovers, so today i have some in the crock pot on low with some beef broth. in a few hours i'll add some carrots, parsnips and celery and let it get just perfect. i'll serve it with some braised greens and some warm bread. slurp.

timmy has a hankerin' to use the rest of the brisket and make a big batch of cowboy chili on the grill (in a cast iron pot) so he will be doing that and i'll make a batch of jalepeno colby cornbread. (farmer chad, we love that cheese!) we'll have a tiny salad along with it...you know, just because. we'll freeze a few small batches for lunches and nights when i'm working.

i now have 2 big butternut squash, so i'm going to make butternut curry soup that jen posted a few days ago. it sounds amazing! plus a nice big salad with seasonal greens, purple peppers, carrots, celery and some homemade cheddar garlic croutons. drool.

we also got a beauty of a napa cabbage in the box. it is so pretty!
i'm planning on making Chinese Cabbage Rolls with a few variations on the stuffing using whatever veggies i have leftover in the fridge. i might use ground sausage instead of ground turkey. can't decide.
so we'll serve those babies with some brown rice, the last of the pickled veggies and of course, hot tea. chopsticks anyone?

the sweet potatoes with become babyfood this week and also snuck into some GFCF pancakes for my monkey boy.

and that wraps it up, folks.

i'd better get back to the kitchen!

regression? or not?

i had a good face-to-face talk with my friend jennifer and also my friend kara today. also some folks at work and especially the hubby.

i was thinking that liam was regressing.

my mind was starting to get stressed about it (what is he eating that isn't right for him...etc) but i saw a new light today, if you will.

hear me out.

liam is actually PROgressing.

he is being a typical 3.5 year old in his actions and his will.

the past few days the kid has been sticking up for himself. passionately.

well, my mind immediately thinks it's the "autism" rearing its head. i label him. i think that he isn't capable of expressing what he really feels.

maybe, but just *maybe* he is getting it.

but this kid is fighting hard. fighting the battle of not enough words and too many emotions.

can i get an amen?

i feel that daily.

this kid is sensitive. so am i.

this kid rages against injustice. so do i.

this kid loves every person that comes in his path...as long as you don't push him for words. i am the same.

regression?

nope.

i don't think so.

i think we have a fireball on our hands.

this kid has it going on.

now to know how to fan the flame? that's the hard part.

oh goodness.

my heart is rejoicing tonite.

he's GETTING IT!!!

good days and bad days

we have had a few of those "bad days" lately.

if any mama of an autistic child hears me right now, please say "amen"

i need it.

ups and downs...highs and lows.

i KNOW that is the deal. i KNOW IT.

but my friends, it is hard when you really *really* want to sleep and your precious first child wakes you with a desperate need for something....*something* that is not expressed with words.

i truly envy the mamas that have a child that wakes them with "i'm scared" or "my PJs don't fit right" or "i had a bad dream"...

because tonite our liam has us up and we cannot figure out why.

he doesn't have the words.
he wants to have them and feels almost ashamed that he cannot express what he feels.

i ran to his side tonite and all i got in return was a plea for "juice". maybe he was thirsty? was he really? or did he say that because that is all he knows how to say???

kids his age would just say why, but we're asking all the wrong questions and getting nothing in return.

nights like this leave me feeling helpless.

and then i wake up and remember that life is worth living.
and that my liam will one day...ONE DAY...have a voice.

oh mamas.
please keep my heart in your prayers because it is breaking tonite.

Father God, please heal my boy.

food this week

i love thursdays because i get to pick up my csa box, milk, cheese, eggs, meat and then take it all home and stare at it all afternoon trying to decide what i'm going to make.

i *really* enjoy cooking.
i guess it's just an expression of my creativity and also the chance to take care of others in the process.
and especially this whole "seasonal cooking" thing that i've been doing.
it's like a fun puzzle that i get to put together since we never know in advance what we're getting in our box...or what kinds of meat farmer chad has that day.

anyway, i planned my meals today and here's what we're eating...

THURS:
broiled asian tilapia, fried rice made with csa veggies and farm eggs, roasted carrots

FRI:
grilled cheese and TJ's roasted red pepper and tomato soup (tim works)

SAT:
country fried steak with milk gravy, garlic mashed potatoes, braised greens

SUN:
grilled sirloin steak, roasted parsnips, salad

MON:
black bean and sweet potato enchiladas, salad

TUES:
leftovers (i work)

WED:
leftovers (i work)

yummy. i'm getting hungry just thinking about it.

i also have a butternut squash that i'll turn into babyfood or just puree it and freeze in cubes to sneak into mac and cheese. ;)

i know i work for the company...

...but seriously folks.

starbucks peppermint mocha twist really makes me giddy.

it is so good.

i LOVE the holidays!!

pickles, babyfood and my favorite "nightcap"

is anyone else enjoying the fall as much as i am?

i've always been a warm weather person, but something changed inside of me this year and i am embracing the changing seasons.

maybe it's because i love God, my house, husband, kids, job and the fire that burns in my fireplace every morning and every night.

anyway, i've been doing some fun stuff in the kitchen lately.

getting this CSA box each week really challenges me to make the most of everything i get and not let anything go to waste.

we got a bunch of radish (radishes?) in our box last week and i'm not too fond of raw radish. or so i thought. it seems that farm fresh radish is much sweeter than the store bought kind. so, maybe i will love them from here on out.

i also had some leftover cucumber and purple bell pepper, so i sliced everything up really thin and made up a mixture of rice vinegar, white vinegar, water, sugar, salt, pepper, minced garlic and some dill.
i heated the liquid up just a bit to dissolve everything and then added my veggies.
pop it all into a sealed container and put in the fridge.
it has been in there for a day now and mmmmmm. yummy!!

the other thing i did this week was continue to make homemade baby food.
(soooooo easy i'm sure many of you already do this)

last week i roasted a free range chicken from farmer chad and timmy picked all the meat off of it while i was at work. (it still had the neck on!!)
we used the meat for a few things and then i used the rest for my babyfood concoction.

i diced up a few apples from the CSA box, added some shredded kale from the box and then the shredded chicken. i poured some apple juice (diluted) over the whole thing and poured it in my crockpot on low.
then i wrapped up the sweet potatoes that we got in our box in tin foil and put it in the same crockpot to get soft.
when the potatoes were done, tim scraped the insides into the pot and when it was all good and soft, i buzzed it up in the food processor.

to store it, i poured the mixture into ice cube trays to freeze in individual portions.
i'll pop them out into a ziploc freezer bag and keep them in the freezer for easy heat-up. cora LOVES it!!

now, onto my new drink concoction.

winter always makes me want a nightcap before bed.
something to warm my tummy and make me nod right off.

here is my newest favorite.

a shot of good brandy
a few pumps of starbucks cinnamon dolce syrup
fresh milk (about 3-4oz) (we get ours right from farmer chad's cow...cream and all!)

serve warm or over ice. top with allspice.

deeeee-lish.

anybody else cookin' anything good????

cooking at 3am??

yes, that is what i'm doing.

why???

well, a few reasons.

my super wonderful hubby works his patooty off from 9am on friday until 2pm on saturday.
yes, right on through.
he takes a little nap somewhere in there, but Lord knows that he works his behind off to get that paper out.
this is the life of a wife to an editor.

i suppose i was born for it.

my dad did it. my grandfather did it. my great and great and great grandfather did it.

it's in my blood.

so what does a good wife do to show her support? (especially when she rarely READS the paper that he puts out??)

well, good golly, she cooks the whole crew a batch of homemade lasagna.

i mean, what brings people together better than that?


so, i'm up at 3am cooking a good batch and i'm loving it.

i used my regular recipe, but i added in spicy ground pork and some kale from the CSA box.

life feels better when i'm doing something to bless another person.

try it. you might like it.

back to basics

i just don't understand why so many people don't "get" that what our country needs is to get back to basics.

i mean, like what our forefathers believed in.

hard, honest work.
true belief in God.
dedication to family.
honesty with friends.
selflessness.
pure acts of kindness.
taking care of the orphans and widows.
freely giving as freely we have recieved.
not killing those who cannot speak for themselves.
living within our means.
buying locally.
supporting artisans.
bartering instead of racking up debt.
using our skills for work instead of working meaningless jobs.

i could go on and on.

change is good, but sometimes a certain kind of change is detrimental.
to our country and to our lives.
to the future generation that we are raising.

back to basics is what i believe.

we're heating our home mostly with fire this winter, so i spent the evening gathering firewood from our yard...and teaching the kids how to gather pinecones for kindling.

i also bought some from a pastor that lives in the woods behind us.
yes. in the woods.
he and his wife have lived on that land for 45 years.
they married when she was 14 and he was 17.
they had five kids.
they built their own amazing log home overlooking the lake that they fish in.
she runs a country cooking restaurant and he helps her there.
he also pastors a little church and sells firewood on the side.

i have struck up a friendship with this man and i have to say that they live simple, love much and are two of the happiest people i have ever met.

i was telling him how we want eight kids and hope to maybe have a farm one day and he gave me the best compliment that i've heard in a long time...

he said that the day he first met me, he went to his wife and told her that he met a young lady that reminded him *exactly* of her when she was my age.

back to basics folks.

you will be the happiest you have ever been.
just watch.

visit from brother-in-law!

yay!

we get the honor of hosting tim's brother, brian, for breakfast tomorrow!

oh how i love to cook a good breakfast for a guest.

here is the menu:

~sage ground sausage, diced sweet onion and diced potatoes...all sizzled up together
~eggs sunny side up (from my dear friend katie's own chickens!)
~grits with raw cheddar cheese from our local farmer
~OJ spritzers
~french press coffee

who else is coming?
i'll set you a plate. ;)

the CSA box

okay, bear with me while i ramble a bit.

do you support your local farmers? i mean the ones that really put true sweat and blood into their crop like your great-great-great grandpa did?

they are few and far between these days, but they are out there.

support them for crying outloud!

okay enough of that. ;)

in my box this week:

~head of some kind of green (guessing bok choy)
~head of another green (no idea but it was tasty)
~head of red leaf lettuce
~head of romaine (?) lettuce
~2 sweet purple peppers (beautiful, BTW)
~a few apples
~an acorn squash

did i miss something jen?

okay the plan...

i used the greens tonite. they were amazing. see the previous post.

i am planning on making an acorn squash soup to be served with multigrain rolls that were donated to us. but i'll add some broccoli that needs using and top it with our fresh raw cheddar from farmer chad.


the two heads of lettuce will be used with the two purple peppers to make a simple salad.

the apples will be sliced to go along with the yummy raw cheddar as a snack.

this food tastes so good because i know where it came from.
yes, it's a little pricey, but i love love love supporting local farmers when i can.
they have a dream too, folks and they are living it!
plus, we really cannot take the chance of pesticides getting into liam's system.

i hope you enjoy my weekly post on the box because i love planning it out. :)

love...H

dinner friday

well, timmy is working a long one, so it's just me and the kids tonite.

i decided that i needed to start cleaning out all the leftovers in my fridge and pantry, so here is what i came up with...

we had some leftover (tim-grilled) ribs in the freezer that i needed to use up.
so i tossed some root veggies (baby potatoes, baby carrots, onion) into the bottom of my trusty crockpot. added a few shakes of s&p, some garlic powder, a few oz of veggie broth. i topped the veggies with the thawed ribs and it's cooking away on low.
smells yummy!!

i'm also going to make some braised greens since we got a ton of them in our CSA box this week. i'll sautee them up with some crushed garlic, onion, s&p, dash of hot sauce and some EVOO.

speaking of my CSA box, i'm going to start a weekly post of what i got and what i plan to do with it. should be fun.

i'll do this weeks post maybe later tonite...if i get around to it. ;)

what's on your plate tonite??

quick cleanse

cleansing is good for the soul...it's also good for the body. ;)

i've been feeling a little sluggish lately and like my system is getting bogged down with allergies and icky stuff, so i'm doing a quick cleanse.

i'm starting with one day...tomorrow. just a quickie.

i may continue it a few more days, but i tend to set these mile-high goals for myself and then crash and burn.

so, one day.
baby steps and all.

i'm doing the arden's garden cleanse. you can buy it premade at harrys (which is what i did) or you can make it yourself.

anyway, i'll let you know how it goes.

wish me luck!!

the trampoline

oh my goodness.
we are so blessed.

our neighbor, who happens to be our landlord, just GAVE!! us a trampoline for liam.
yep. just gave it to us.

for some kids this might be just a fun thing to have, but for US it's a form of therapy for our sensory-seeking little man.

let me tell you about today...

i held liam off until the two littles were napping because there isn't a net around the thing and liam is sure to bounce his sister right off, so i waited.
well, the time came and i let him loose.
friends, this kid spent 3 hours out there this afternoon.
THREE HOURS!!!

he would bounce and bounce.
when he got tired he would lay there and look up at the trees.
a few times i even caught him singing praise songs while running around on it.

there is nothing. NOTHING. that will bring tears to a mama's eyes faster than seeing her son loving life and loving God at the same time.
he was singing "HOLY HOLY HOLY" and then crashing down on himself while laughing his guts out.
i stood on the porch and cried tears of thankfulness and complete joy.
i saw my son in a place that he was free. FREE!
free from the stress of not being like others.
free from the burden of not being able to talk and relate.
free from everything.
he was praising God because he felt great joy.

thank you, silvia.
your gift has touched our hearts on so many levels.
and now our boy has an escape.
an escape that is much needed.
and we are SO grateful.